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It's 4:47 am at the time of writing this. Wide awake. Mind is fully active. Is this Insomnia rearing it's ugly head, or is it just time to be awake? It doesn't help that a quick nap hours earlier turned into much-of-the-day-gone-nap. Just a constant feeling of exhaustion. It's easy to allow frustrations fueled by the enemy to creep in and start producing doubt, conflicts in marriage, distractions to prevent me from fulfilling God's desires, and seeds of temptation to be planted. All of this can bring spiritual exhaustion in the absence of God as the spiritual portion.
Thankfully, there is a God who has already foreseen all of this and has provided a way of nourishment through His word. If you're like me, you have a tendency to want to do things on your own and this produces utter exhaustion. Instead of prayer, we charge hard into oblivion and God allows us to stumble to bring Himself into focus again. Jesus is the daily portion and should be the main priority in life.
It reminds me of Casting Crowns' song "Praise You in This Storm."
"I was sure by now, God you would have reached down and wiped our tears away. Stepped in and saved the day, but once again, I say amen that it's still raining. As the thunder rolls, I barely hear your whisper through the rain: 'I'm with you.' And as your mercy falls, I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away."Praise You in This Storm, Casting Crowns
How often it is to claim God is far through seemingly impossible trials, yet it was never Him who moved. It's always us wanting to be our own portion. Through trials, the testing of faith produced endurance (James 1:1-3).
Psalm 121, NIV
"I lift up my eyes to the mountains---where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and Earth. He will not make your foot slip---he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you---the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm---he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."
As I read these verses, there's conviction on wanting to provide my own help. My own assurance. My own selfish ambitions. Yet, it's not my life. "To live is Christ, to die is gain" (Philippians 1:21). Paul instructs Christians to daily be a living sacrifice, to lift God up instead of ourselves. To put aside the want to be our own portion.
"Therefore, I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good, and accept, and perfect." Romans 12:1-2, NASB.
I'm grateful salvation doesn't rely on us, because if it did, we would all be in trouble. This is why daily devotionals are needed, and this is something that will be implemented more often with these blog posts. It'll serve as nourishment not just for myself, but for others who need to hear the words. May Jesus be your daily portion today.
See this post on We Heart It: https://weheartit.com/articles/339164484-jesus-the-daily-portion
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